Today I would like to introduce a guest author to Chefs Tales with the continuation of my theory that we should be a community type blog that shares information and stories of food, family and life in general to anyone whom may enjoy it.
I would like to thank Trish, the author and founder of Mum’s Gone To…blog for this lovely article from a hotel guest perspective.
Hope you enjoy it!
I’m surprising myself with my ability to find a second post’s worth of chit chat from our lovely lazy holiday and have to dedicate it to that wonderful pastime of people-watching, my favourite holiday activity.
On the whole, this being a smart gaff, the people are very civilised, quiet and stylish and I just love admiring other women’s clothes, bags, children etc. However, around the poolside I’m reminded of a phrase of my husband’s Scottish Auntie Jenny, who used to say, “Aye, the sights you see when you’ve nae got a gun!” That thought passes through my mind when at a nearby sunbed a middle-aged Spanish woman proceeds to merrily pluck away at stray hairs on her thighs with a pair of tweezers. My husband is fearful the plucking might go higher so he turns his bed round a little to focus on some younger totty to his left.
My favourite couple are the two very stylish gay chaps who look fabulous at breakfast and then come down to the pool in their bathrobes, sashaying along as if they are on the Milan catwalk, before disrobing with a swish of their shoulders, to reveal fetching speedos and well-maintained bodies. Wish I could say the same for “strangely-dyed-ginger-haired man” who walks round the pool in a tiny pair of lime green lycra pants which sport a handy zip at the front!
Whilst I’m not averse to snaffling away an apple or two from the breakfast buffet to keep us going during the day, one French family just take it a step too far. The wife is dripping in jewellery, tottering on astonishingly high heels and nearly wearing a teeny top from which her silicone chest makes a determined effort to escape. I reckon she must have spent a fortune on Botox and lip-plumping too. Her husband, with no perception that this really isn’t the done thing, proceeds to butter five baguettes and fill them all with an assortment of meats. He wraps them all up in the hotel’s linen napkins and trophy wife stashes them, with great aplomb, in her white leather statement handbag. My poor husband, who has hoofed it already to Netto and back for a packet of ham and a couple of rolls, can only look on with amazement at the sheer audacity of the whole operation.
Even worse, a carbon copy of Roman Abramovich is strutting around the hotel with an entourage of thick-necked heavies and his young family who are there for his every need. He sits at breakfast with a large glass of lager and his daughter (?) has to fetch and carry for him and even puts his sweater over his shoulders when he’s a bit cold. I’m not awfully good at watching people surreptitiously, (Hubby says I could never be a spy) so I gawp as Roman slurps his lager and plunges his croissant into a mug of cappuccino before shovelling it into his mouth.
Pass me the rifle, Aunty Jenny
Trish can be found @ http://www.mumsgoneto.blogspot.com/
What a fab post, you do see some amazing sights whilst on holiday and the fellow travellers are no exception. Lime green lycra man sounds a real dish.
Hi VB,
I love this kind of article and story as it simply tells real life as it happens like a running commentary.
Trish has a very nice writing style ans she articulates herself in such a way that everyone knows what she is talking about.
Very well written indeed.
Thanks for dropping by and we hope to hear from you again soon.
Warm regards,
Mike.
Ginger hair and lime green lycra pants? Tch. Everybody knows that green and red clash!
See, this is why I never do beach or pool holidays… the fear of baring my wobbly bits pales into insignificance when compared with the fear of having to look at other people’s and keep my face straight.
Hi Steve,
Thanks for your comments you have made me laugh out loud today.
I am having a great day, I feel good and you guys are making me feel even better…”wobbly bits”…my goodness.
Have a great day buddy and looking forward as usual to hear from you again soon.
Warm regards,
Mike.
I would love to have the audacity to steal my whole lunch from the breakfast buffet! lol Mich x
Well writtten and observed as usual Trish…..why do we all love people watching so much? We see assorted shapes sizes and nationalities all around us everyday … you would think we might be bored …. yet sit us on a sun lounger or in a hotel lobby and we are constantly fascinated (or maybe just have the time?) to really look and listen and ponder on other lives….and I wish I had the chutzpah to pack a lunch from a breakfast…like you I just sneak a bit of fruit!
When was this? I think the stylish men you speak of may be our neighbours!
I’ve never stolen a whole breakfast but sometimes, at Club Med in particular, I may have filched a few pastries. Don’t tell anyone will you?
And I get annoyed if you’re only allowed one glass of juice.
The plucking with the tweezers. Urrgh. Yuck. When couples squeeze each others spots on their backs gets me too. G-ROSS.
I could people watch all day. And frequently do.
Very funny post Trish.
Many thanks to Mike for publishing my post here and to everyone for commenting.
The breakfast buffet filching is obviously a naughty habit we all have: yes, Deer Baby, the odd croissant has disappeared in my bag too but they are terribly flaky. I can’t believe anywhere would restrict you to one glass of juice; that’s outrageous! I would certainly pocket a bread roll or two if they were so mean.
Trish
Hilarious Trish, you have captured it all brilliantly. Brought back some memories of holidays where you see people doing things I’m sure they wouldn’t dream of at home. Or would they?! I’m longing to go back to Fiji now.
Except I might just stay here and check out these recipes for a while … mmmm
You found someone who dyes his hair ginger? You do go to some strange places